August 25-31 2016 Throwback Thursday

My sister had been here for a few days at this point, a CNA herself. I woke one night having severe stomach pains, and needed her help. I sat up and looked over at her sleeping in the separate bed, and was about to call her name...but I couldn't remember it. I had forgotten my own sister's name! So I called out the first name I could think of--which happened to be my roommate's name. My sister giggled, and corrected me calmly. Clearly it was a side effect of the concussion, but was still alarming, to say the least.

On August 25th I had my first flashback. After laying down in bed for the night, and letting my mind settle down, I recalled part of the accident--the audio version, in surround sound. I suddenly remembered the sound of my car door being sawed off. The crunching of metal, and voices--not panicked voices, but urgent and stern voices. And the feeling of helplessness. My eyes were closed, but I knew I couldn't move.

My eyes popped open and stared into the dark of my room. I had to take deep breaths to calm the anxiety. It was frightening. I was then very grateful that I had couldn't remember most of the incident.

My sister took me out for the first time the next day, to get my mind off of it. Of course, we went to Target.